Deeply Rooted Differences

A fundamental, decisive difference exists between the Jewish worldview and those of other cultures and religions regarding concepts and views about the institution of marriage and the family. The different outlooks and attitudes are not just limited to the sociological level but are also deeply rooted in philosophical ideas and theological fundamentals. Although many rituals and prayers – as well as views with regard to marriage and family – in the area of Jewish ideology and way of thinking have also changed over the course of many centuries, the principal original elements basically remain the same as they were in the past.
The views on marriage and family in Judaism are anchored in the primary sources of Jewish theology, which makes them clear and undisputed. The statement with which the biblical narrative begins: “In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth” (Genesis 1:1), obviously was a categorical article of faith in Jewish theology.
For example, one source in the literature of the Midrash states: “He (the Eternal One) created; he nourishes and maintains; he had an effect, acted and continues» (Tanhuma, Buber, Genesis 24). Canaanites and Amoraim in the literature of the Talmidim and the Midrash from the first to the seventh century, as well as Jewish philosophers in the later Middle Ages, expanded upon and distributed these ideas. Since the Eternal One is a “unique being” of “ultimate completeness,” His creation is also complete, immaculate, flawless, and never without meaning and inherent purpose. The Talmud Bavli (Babylonian Talmud) therefore cites: “Rabbi Jehuda said in the name of Rav – Everything that ‘the Holy One, praise to Him’ created in one world and not one thing did He create without a purpose.” (Tractate Shabbat 77:1). And the source in the Midrash explains in this regard: “Even things that are seen as superfluous in the world such as flies, gnats, and mosquitoes are part of the creation, and, as such, serve a divinely-appointed purpose, even a snake,  a mosquito, or a frog” (Genesis Raba 10:7). The exceptional philosopher Maimonides explained this part in the Middle Ages: “… No intelligent human could say that any of God's creations are empty or futile or dumb. But according to our view… All of His creations are very good as He says – And God saw everything that He had made, and, behold, it was very good.” (Moreh Nevuchim, 3:25).



Completing God’s Work
The Jewish philosophy fundamentally conflicts with the Greek philosophy of antiquity, the ancient world, and the various types of Gnosticism. These ideologies criticized various phenomena in the universe and in nature, but also found errors in causal circumstances and their effects. The starting point for this way of thinking was the view that the existence of the universe had no meaning and purpose and that the history of humanity is an incurable, hopeless chaos from the beginning into eternity. Jewish philosophy already fought against ideologies and spiritual tendencies of this type from the time of the ancient prophets until the High Middle Ages.
However, the philosophers of Judaism would even go one wonderful but extraordinarily bold step further. Based on the exegesis of various sentences right at the beginning of the Thora – such as: “And God blessed the seventh day, and sanctified it: because that in it he had rested from all his work which God created and made” (Genesis 2:3) – the Jewish thinkers concluded that the biggest challenge for human beings within the context of a partnership is to ensure the continuance of the world and the well-being of the human species in all possible spheres and on every level, as well as to continuously work and create. So the Eternal One consciously and purposefully created the universe and humanity imperfectly in order to open the way for human initiative and complete God's work in accordance with its wishes.
The consistent, logical conclusion of this ideology sees marriage and the family as the absolute center – some thinkers emphasize it as the pinnacle - of human efforts in the sense of the incredible, phenomenal challenge of cooperation between human and divine postulates. God's first commandment, one of many more, already appears in the first chapter of Genesis with the words: “… Be fruitful and multiply…” (Genesis 1:22) is a clear statement of divine will in founding the institution of marriage and starting a family, supported by the ideas and principles of ethic in the light of the all-encompassing teachings of the Thora. As Maimonides explained: “This is the commandment that tells us to multiply and be fruitful with the intention of propagating the human race…” (Maimonides, Book of the Mitzvoth, 212).

Marriage as an Imperative
In many sources of the Talmud, as well as the Midrash, the convincing opinion is clearly expressed that entering into marriage and starting a family is a divine commandment, a duty for every human being, and a divine challenge as its highest goal. We can read in the Talmud: “Rabbi Elasar said that a man who does not have a wife is not a man, as was said (Genesis 5:3) – male and female he made them … and named them (together)‚ mankind” (B. Talmud, Tractate Jewamot, 63, a).
A highly interesting comment in the same direction but with deeper argumentation emphatically complements this statement: “Rabbi Eliezer says that whoever does not act (according to the commandment) of fertility and multiplication, acts as if he is shedding blood…. Rabbi Akiba says it is as if he diminishes (God's) image as it was said‚ for he made mankind in the image of God” (Genesis 9:6). These words follow: And you, be you fruitful, and multiply: (B. Talmud, Tractate Jewamot, 63b).
The words of the great scholar Rabbi Akiba have exceptional significance. The mentioning of God's “image” (in connection with the commandment of fertility) raises the foundation of marriage and the family from a social and biological level into a metaphysical sphere. The continuation of this Talmudic text is also significant: “… They (the scholars) said to Ben Asai: You preach nicely but you do not act accordingly (the scholar Ben Asai was not married). So he responded to them: What can I do, my soul thirsts for the Thora. The world can survive through others.”
The deep apologetics in the words of apology from the mouth of the sage Ben Asai attest to the strength and stability of the scholar, who understood the founding of marriage as an imperative in the light of the Thora.

Educational Responsibility
An abundance of sources in the Talmud and Midrash testify to the view of the wise men that the family, the house of the parents, must be the foundation stone in the education of children. In ancient times the father was personally responsible for the education of the children in accordance with the Thora: “And you shall teach them (God's commandments) diligently unto your children and shall talk of them…” (Deuteronomy 6:7). Not only the father but also the mother faces the great challenge of passing on these principles and ideas of the Thora to their children.
In Proverbs, we find the following: “My son, keep your father's commandment, and forsake not the law of your mother” (Proverbs 6:20).
There was already an organized school system in the first century, even during the times of the Second Temple, for children of all ages with classes and curricula. In the Babylonian Talmud, Baba Batra, 21a, this monumental innovation is approvingly attributed to the high priest Jehoshua ben Gamla. In contrast, the Talmud Yerushalmi (Jerusalem Talmud) asserts that the sage Schimon ben Schetach already introduced a public school system two centuries before the start of our modern calendar (Talmud Yerushalmi, Tractate Ketubot 8:11).
Educating children according to Judaism is a mandatory basic principle for Jewish parents. When in the years 1648–1649 more than 10,000 Jews were murdered and a myriad of communities were plundered and destroyed in the horrible pogrom in the Ukraine by Bohdan Chmelnyzkyj and his followers, there was a harrowing call from one community to the major scholars of the time. The people asked whether the few resources that were available should be used to build a school or a synagogue. The clear response was that building for school children would always be preferable because one could also pray in the field or in the forest. The education of children even has priority in the worst of situations – and maybe especially then.

Differences and Similarities
The institution of marriage and family has become a big question mark, a problem in the Western cultures and civilizations of the occident. There are many reasons for this dangerous and almost destructive social development. However, it is not our purpose to discuss this modern phenomenon within the scope of this article. But it has been some to draw some baselines in summary.
Marriage is rightfully considered to be an absolutely facultative and intimate decision by both spouses with the purpose and the expectation of satisfying biological, emotional, and also socio-economical needs. Consequently, deceptions of any kind lead to the dissolution and termination of the relationship, and this usually occurs with mutual consent.
The authentic Jewish worldview sees marriage, based on the sources of the Thora and its later interpretations, as the fulfillment of God's commandments. The specific announcement of these ideas through rituals and blessings already impart a distinctly solemn and religious importance to the marriage during the wedding. This actually has an influence on all of the participants. ●

Mordechai Piron served as Chief Rabbi of the Israeli Defense Forces and later of the Jewish Religious Community of Zurich. He is now the chairman of the Sapir Center for Jewish Education and Culture, as well as the chairman of the Israel Jewish Council for Interreligious Relations.